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Just as every pregnancy is so different for each woman, so is postpartum. Some struggle more than others hormonally, emotionally and transitionally. Unfortunately, in modern medicine most, not all, but most doctors don’t take the time to truly teach or equip women for the season {postpartum} following childbirth. But because of the rise in women speaking out on PPD and other Postpartum related issues, the awareness is much higher today than it was just a decade ago. We have more resources today than ever to help prepare us for and “label” some serious illnesses and issues that need care. For that help and research we need to be grateful and thankful.

But how does faith play into all of this? What role does the body of Christ, namely the sisters, play? The reality is that our culture is a fast paced, self-focused one. We are the culture… and we… all of us… me included are addicted to busy-ness. So much so, that sometimes our schedules are so clogged up with non-eternal things that we haven’t got a free moment to be that listening ear to a sister who needs to talk and share her burden. And even more essential is that this same busy-ness prevents us from serving one another and providing the proper opportunity for a woman who has just birthed her baby to rest, recover and peacefully delight in bonding with her new baby without experiencing guilt for not “doing.”

Our country statistically fails at supporting working mothers with the time needed for recovery, healing, and simply adjusting. Visit this website and scroll waayyy down to see the actual numbers of weeks each country mandates for maternity leave. Some countries allow up to a year for both parents, but most seem to average out around 16 weeks paid, with the option to take more if needed. This pressure and standard of “doing it all” affects our entire cultures perspective on what is appropriate time allotted for postpartum recovery, better know as maternity leave. Because the standard 12 weeks {most are back after six weeks} maternity leave is our standard for caring for ourselves, I think we set many women up for failure. Failure to “get” in their groove of being a mom, and learning their “new harmony” in meeting the needs of their family during this amazing life transition. And to make matters worse, because women generally compare themselves to other women, there is often a ton of judgement going both directions between working and stay at home moms on issues such as breast-feeding and so on. This saddens me greatly, and I believe it grieves the Father too.

The postpartum season can be a time of blessing, a season of strengthening relationships and intimate bonding. Our perspective needs to change.

Where can change start? With you and me, right now. Our culture, including the government have made regulations and laws concerning maternity leave, we need to do all we can to help these moms to recover and get the rest they need while they are home. While this will not “cure” PPD, the truth is that we, the church are not doing all we can to support these moms. There are practical things we can do to simply serve and love our sisters during postpartum, whether they have PPD, other postpartum struggles or not.

Ways We Can Support a New Momma:

• Bringing meals
• Come over to simply fold laundry
• Take other kids away for a play-date to let mommy sleep with new baby
• Run errands & grocery shop for the family. What ever we can do to help lighten the load so that the new momma can not only rest but feel like she is truly connecting with her new baby. This is so healthy for both mommy and baby. And some times, not always but sometimes, the pressures and stress of needing to get back to work right away can be that light switch, that catalyst to trigger the PPD button.

What other ideas can you think of for helping support a new mama?

A short testimony about God goodness after my postpartum hemorrhage:

As I share in my book Redeeming Childbirth, during my sixth birth I suffered a postpartum hemorrhage, losing over half of my blood. This is not something that is often talked about among women today; maybe because it doesn’t happen very often {so don’t worry}! I was personally so blessed, as was my family, by the care of our family and church family during this season. As I was on bedrest recovering, there were hard moments for sure. And I will talk about those in another post, but it was also a blessing in disguise. I was able to truly delight in and bond with our newest addition to our family. I spent a little over a month simply enjoying him, watching him grow every day and letting the children hold him and cuddle him often. We all did a lot of cuddling that month! My hemorrhage slowed down a very busy family so we could truly embrace this short season and bond closer together. As my children served the family with new responsibilities, they grew, our family team thrived. In those times I felt like a failure as guest visited our home to bring meals, I wondered, “what do they think of me and the care of my home?” But God humbled me yet again to focus on the eternal things… relationships.

So you see, there is good to be found. Even in the hard times. It is just our choice to look for it.

Are you pregnant and wondering how you can best prepare for your postpartum recovery season?

1.) Spend your time growing in the Lord as much as possible. There is never going to be a better time to read, read, read or glean from the wisdom of some like-minded Titus 2 Women in your church/community/family. Recognize you may need to be lying down for a while and BE…. okay with it. REST.

2.) Prepare your household practically. Some ideas might be freezing meals, organizing your schedule to be less hectic {SIMPLIFY CALENDAR}, practice saying NO to too many activities, don’t just prepare your “childbirth kit/bag”… also plan for your kids… if they are going to be potentially outgrowing shoes or clothes or needing school supplies or curriculums/books about the same time or shortly after having your baby… think ahead and plan it out and purchase it before if you can. You don’t want your recovery time to be stressful, you want to enjoy it.

3.) Schedule help. Be willing to be real and let others serve you. Often times we moms want to give the impression we have it all together. That we can handle it. And I think that seasoned mothers, or those with many children, have an even potentially  harder time with this because they feel judged by the culture for having more children. Deep down inside, you may simply want to be a shining light of God’s goodness and “show” others that you can handle it, so as to inspire them to dream and “handle it” too; but allowing others to come in your home and serve you will truly be the biggest blessing to them. So be willing to be vulnerable and ask for help. People won’t know you need it unless you ask.

4.) Read up on postpartum. To be honest, I made the mistake of not taking of assuming since my first five births went “normal” I shouldn’t bother reading up on postpartum hemorrhages, or PPD, etc. That was a huge mistake, because during my sixth birth I did have a massive hemorrhage and was unsure what was happening. My husband and I were totally unprepared for it. I was on a forced 6 week bed-rest, after birth, while trying to “grow” blood cells. I don’t share this to scare you! In fact the statistics on women suffering from postpartum hemorrhages are very encouraging. However, I regret that I simply overlooked chapters in books on this topic simply thinking it would never happen to me. That was naive and I do think it is simply wise to prepare.

5.) Make a plan to take care of your health. You will need a lot of rest. Don’t jump back into working out to soon, but also don’t neglect doing this after you have recovered. Many women, myself included, struggle with caring for their bodies in between birthing babies. This is critical for us being able to continue caring for our families. So make a plan, get an accountability partner, join a gym, or sign up for Fit2B Studios and Beth’s online accountability forum.

Let’s Pray Together~

Lord Jesus, we thank you for this awesome privilege in partnering with you to bring forth life! We are in awe of how you have designed us for this worshipful act, this good work! Thank you for always going before us, for caring for us more than anyone ever could here on earth. We rest in the confidence of knowing you hold everything in your hands and we choose today not to become anxious or worry, but to be wise and prepare our hearts and souls for whatever circumstances you allow us to walk through in this life. We commit to you all of ours sisters birthing journeys and ask that you would minister to and heal those who are in postpartum even now. We ask that you would rise up sisters in Christ to care for one another. We ask that you would help us, as mothers, to rest in you and delight in this short season of motherhood. Help every one of my sisters who are in postpartum now and who will soon be, to prepare their hearts for this season. Help them to rest deep in you. May you bless their relationships, their marriages, their homes, and bring healing to their bodies. Make the church aware of this opportunity for service and may your Holy Spirit move in the hearts of Titus 2 women, inspiring them to be more intentional about serving others during this season. May we grow closer in authentic relationship with one another and You during this season. Amen

God Bless Your Journey Sister~ May He Be Glorified In & Through You!

Angie Tolpin

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